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12 Things to Know About No matter what the myths say, your gender doesn’t affect how you feel about sex.
Women’s feelings go up and down constantly, while men are in charge of their few emotions. In the past, that’s what most people thought, at least.
These ideas have been around for a long time, but people are more complicated than that.
Several studies have shown that women are more likely than men to talk about their feelings, at least in the US and some Western European countries.
They also say that men’s bodies react to mental stressors in the same way or even more strongly than women’s do.
We might have this difference because of the society in which we live. We’ve only been doing what we were told was okay.
People are less likely to fit into easy gender categories these days.
Your feelings about sex are unique to you, no matter what gender you are or how you choose to show them.
For Some People, Mental Attraction Is Needed Before They Can Feel Physically Attracted.
Do you need to be emotionally interested in someone before you can think about having sex? You’re not the only one if that sounds like you.
It’s possible that you need to bond spiritually. It could be their mind or the fact that you share some basic ideas about life.
You might have felt that first thrill when they made you laugh so hard you cried.
Or it’s a case of je ne sais quoi, which you can’t quite put into words but know when it happens.
You want to be close to someone. When your emotions are high, and you’ve made an emotional link, you might feel your body getting excited.
You’re not into sex outside of that zone. You like to make love.
Getting attracted and aroused
Some people think acting on a physical desire can lead to an emotional one.
Some people are physically pulled to each other like magnets.
For getting sexual with someone, there’s a chemical reaction, a hunger, and a pure physical need. It’s love.
When two people are just right for each other, getting sexual can lead to a lot more.
A review of the past done in 2012 found two parts of the brain that show how sexual desire changes into love. That one is the insula. The brain cortex is where it is.
Striatum is the other name for it. It’s in the front part of the brain. Interestingly, the striatum is also linked to drug abuse.
In the striatum, love and sexual desire use different brain parts.
Some of the things that make us feel good that set off our lust are food and sex. The love part is turned on by the conditioning process, which is based on reward and worth.
When you get what you want sexually, it turns into a habit that can lead you right to love.
A different part of the striatum takes over when lust turns into love.
Some People May Think That Physical And Mental Attraction Happens In Two Different Spaces.
People are complicated beings with many sides.
When it comes to some of us, there are clear lines between physical and mental attraction. Those things don’t always go together.
You might feel mentally drawn to someone even if you don’t want to do anything sexual with them. Or you have a crazy strong physical attraction to someone but aren’t mentally interested in them.
People can switch between making love and having sex, or they can choose not to do either at all, even in long-term relationships.
No Matter How You Look At It, Sex And Feeling Have The Same Effect On The Brain.
An investigation from 2018 shows that the endocrine system and a hormone called kisspeptin play a significant role in the sexual, emotional, and reproductive parts of the brain.
A neuroscience blog from Tufts University says that sexual excitement doesn’t happen in a vacuum but in a situation.
Mind, body, and brain processes are all involved, and emotions are affected by all of them. It makes sense.
Also, Most People Feel The Same Feelings During Sexual Activity And Release.
Because of the rush of chemicals that happen during sex, many people feel certain things during or right after sex.
Of course, no one ever feels every feeling at the same time.
These are some of the better ones:
Happiness
Full release
Ease of mind and relaxation
Depending on the situation, you may feel some negative feelings, such as:
Shame, guilt, or being physically or mentally unable to handle things
You might even feel sad, worried, or teary after having sex if you have postcoital dysphoria.
There’s Also The Fact That Sexual Desire Can Shut Down Parts Of The Prefrontal Brain.
It’s not always clear when it’s happening to us, but it’s easy to see now. Science fiction and fantasy don’t have anything to do with it. It’s happening.
Some parts of your brain that help you think critically and act like an average person can become inactive when you’re sexually aroused.
You lose touch with reality.
As the joy of it all wears off, good sense and logic are swept away by sexual desire.
As soon as you come to, you may feel a twinge of sorrow or shame as you remember what you were thinking.
You weren’t, as a hint.
The Need For Oxytocin Is Also Real.
The brain makes the hormone oxytocin, which makes you feel good after having sex.
The physical part of sex is linked to that rush of oxytocin. It can also make you feel better emotionally, like love, respect, and happiness.
This hormone is indeed known as the “love hormone.” Sadly, love can make you hooked on the feeling or even crazy about it.
Oxytocin makes you want more.
Researchers Are Still Figuring Out The Different Parts Of The Lust, Desire, And Attachment Equation.
It’s not easy to understand how lust, desire, and attachment work in the brain. Without a doubt, hormones play a part.
No matter what gender you are, lust is usually caused by testosterone and oestrogen. And the desire for sex is what makes lust happen.
Hormones like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine make us want to be with someone.
The brain’s reward centre plays a role in attraction, even if there is no lust. That’s why you get excited or feel like you can fly when first getting to know someone.
Oxytocin and vasopressin bring people together. For connections to last, that’s what needs to happen first.
Hormones do overlap, but their amounts are different, and there’s a lot more to it than that.
It’s a fact: Love and sex are hard to understand. We’re only scratching the top of what makes people tick.
Scientists among us are still trying to figure out how our sexual urges and feelings affect each other.
However, we may always need help to solve the equation, leaving some things open to interpretation.
If You Want To Keep Sex And Feelings Separate,
You might want to keep sex and feelings separate for several reasons.
You should think about what drives you so that you can address any unresolved problems if necessary.
There’s no right or wrong here, though. You don’t have to live your life this way forever.
Here are some ideas for people who want a casual relationship or a “friends with benefits” situation:
Being honest with someone else is the most important thing. It’s only fair.
Talk about what you’re ready and not ready to give mentally and physically and what you want in return.
Talk about birth control and how to have safe sex.
Set rules together so you don’t become too attached to or dependent on each other.
Plan what you’ll do if one of you wants more.
Remember that feelings can come up no matter what you plan or how careful you are. That’s how emotions work.
If You Want To Make The Connection Between Sex And Feelings Stronger,
- Even though it concerns biology and hormones, you may need something to help strengthen the bond.
- How about these ways to begin:
- Don’t let physical closeness become something you do when you have time. Plan it out. Set up a date. Give it the most attention.
- Touch someone with love throughout the day. Together. Touch an arm. Hug. Get close. Give each other a rub down. Touch doesn’t need to turn into sex right away. It’s helpful to be a little excited.
- Look someone in the eye and hold it. Do this often, whether you agree or disagree, share an inside joke, or feel like life is too much.
- Take a break. Allow yourself to be emotionally open and present for each other. Be who they are.
- Hug. Kiss. Take your time with it.
- Talk about how you feel. If you love someone, tell them.
- What makes you want to do something? Music that makes you feel good, candles, and a long soak in a hot tub? Do what you must to set the scene and get in the mood.
- Tell people what you want physically. Let each other take you through what you like.
- When things get rough, pay attention to your feelings. Feel, see, hear, smell, and taste it with all your senses.
- Be present with the person who wants to be present with you. Don’t let anything else happen. Also, please turn off the TV and cell phone while spending time together.
In The End
Let’s be honest. If everyone felt the same, the world would be pretty dull. There is no right way to think about sex or feelings. Be who you are.
